Characteristics Of An Alpha Male
One of the reasons I decided to write this post is because most, "how to become alpha male" literature never actually tells you HOW to become alpha. They just tell you what an alpha male is like.
Well I'll get to the how part later, but it's also a good start to recognize the qualities of an alpha male.
When you think of the characteristics of an alpha male, what comes to mind?
Here are some of the main qualities that make up an alpha male:
If you just tackle the symptoms of being an alpha male, you mightbecome an alpha male. If you really want to become an alpha male, you must go to the source of the problem.
Premise #1: Most people are trapped, and alpha males are FREE.
Think about it.
If you felt totally free to be whoever you wanted to be, wouldn't you be more dominant naturally?
Wouldn't you take the lead?
Wouldn't you be more decisive and assertive?
Most people are totally imprisoned by the expectations of other people. Most people can barely get anything done without worrying about rejection ridicule by their friends, and society.
They let themselves be defined by the social group, and as a result, they must act according to that identity. Beta males often don't feel like they have permission to do the things they really want to do. Can you relate to this?
In simpler words:
An alpha male is a man who is psychologically free to speak his mind, and do what he wants, without feeling inhibited, or caring what other people think. This freedom, is what allows an alpha male to be dominant, and confident, and assertive etc.
Putting it differently, a dominant/confident guy who is not free is a poser. A bossy or overly controlling person is someone who is assertive but not free. The pompous asshole boss who puts down his employees can be an example of a leader who is not free.
None of these people garner the respect that a true alpha male does. They are all still dependent on other people for approval.
Premise #2: An alpha males sees himself as a king, a beta male only wants to be seen as a king
Alpha males have a strong concept of who they are, and what they deserve. They think of themselves highly, and they pay much more attention to what they think of themselves, than what people think of them.
Let me say it another way:
Most alpha males have self respect, and they believe they deserve respect from others. Even more than that, alpha males DEMAND respect from others. This comes from their clear concept of who they think they are and what they think they deserve.
Beta males are very unsure of themselves. They aren't sure who they are, that's why for example, if a hot girl says to a beta guy, "you're ugly!" the beta guy get completely shaken up because he will start to think that maybe he is ugly...
The first key becoming an alpha male is to get a crystal clear understanding of who you are and what you deserve.
In other words, stop walking around trying to make everyone think you're a king. Instead, do whatever it takes to convince yourself that you're a king.
Premise #3: Alpha males are "blind" to external standards
Part of the reason that alpha males can go on believing that they are a king, is that they are deaf, dumb and blind to external feedback that says they are not.
The first step to becoming free, is to detach from the standards of society that are holding you down.
From every direction, society is telling you that YOU are a nobody, a beta male.
If you buy into these kinds of superficial standards of society, you will not be able to have the freedom that allows you to be an alpha male.
As an alpha male, you have to quit measuring yourself to external standards, and measure yourself ONLY by your own standards. When you make the rules for how and when you get to feel good about yourself, you have the freedom to become an alpha male.
Here are some of the ways people measure themselves by external standards. As a future alpha male, you have to stop doing these things.
Tying All Of This Together: How To Change From A Beta Male To An Alpha Male
Like I said earlier, you can only become an alpha male through challenging yourself and life experience. But I have a metaphor that I used to "convince" myself of alphahood. And it was a good start to cultivating alpha behaviour.
I believe all guys deep down are alpha. It's just that they don't know it or remember it.
The first step to becoming an alpha male is believing deep down that you have high self worth. I call it, believing you are a king.
I like the term king because I use it as a metaphor.
Beta males know they are not kings, and that they don't deserve to be kings, but they try to look like kings at all cost.
In the real world, this manifests in guys who do things to look impressive, or guys who rely on some superficial title for status. (btw, ALL external titles are superficial). So the guy who is a DJ, or promoter, or a Hollywood actor, or rich, or has a chiseled body, all these men who rely on these external things for status are posers.
Of course some alpha males have those same titles, but they don't RELY on these titles for glory
Why?
Because alpha males at the core BELIEVE that they are kings. No matter what.
They could be a king in pauper's clothing, but they're still a king. Maybe they have a pauper's bank account. Maybe they're overthrown by a mutiny - it doesn't matter, in their mind, they are still the rightful king, and this belief allows them to continue to have those alpha behaviors which women find so irresistibly attractive.
My metaphor for helping beta males believe they are alpha
Think of yourself as a king...
Have you not done SOMETHING to be worthy of kingship? If you have, then you ARE a king, you've EARNED it.
The only problem is, you keep forgetting that you're a king...
You're a king with amnesia.
It's ok, if a king has amnesia, he's still a king right?
So you're a king with amnesia...
but wait, there's more... you also woke up in pauper's clothing...
Can you think on the implications of this? This means that you start to think that you're a pauper based on your external cues, because you have amnesia and you have NO IDEA who you are.
But now that you remember that you're a king, you must learn to ignore your pauper's clothing and act as a king. Even if other people only see the pauper's clothing and treat you like a commoner. They don't see the real you, and that's understandable.
But it gets worse. There's one more thing I didn't mention...
You're a king with amnesia, in pauper's clothing, and you woke up strapped to a chair and you're being forced to watch a movie that's designed to brainwash you.
This movie is society. Society is constantly trying to trick you into believing that money makes an alpha male, or women, or whatever.
If you buy into the movie, you will lose your alphadom... you must realise that this movie is fake.
The movie is designed to make you forget that you are a king, and start chasing the approval of society so that you may one day be "good enough".
When you get to the point where:
Then you will be FREE, just like an alpha male, and you will then have the power to cultivate that dominance, leadership, confidence, and happiness, that only true alpha males ever enjoy.
Well I'll get to the how part later, but it's also a good start to recognize the qualities of an alpha male.
When you think of the characteristics of an alpha male, what comes to mind?
Here are some of the main qualities that make up an alpha male:
- High Status
- Composure
- Dominance
- Assertiveness
- Leadership
- Decisiveness
- Confidence
- Authority
- intelligence
- Elegance
- Challenge
- Success
- These are all part of the equation, but none of these fully capture what an alpha male truly is. In fact, these are all by products, or symptoms of being alpha. As a result, you won't necessarily become more alpha if you try to cultivate these traits.
Premise #1: Most people are trapped, and alpha males are FREE.
Think about it.
If you felt totally free to be whoever you wanted to be, wouldn't you be more dominant naturally?
Wouldn't you take the lead?
Wouldn't you be more decisive and assertive?
Most people are totally imprisoned by the expectations of other people. Most people can barely get anything done without worrying about rejection ridicule by their friends, and society.
They let themselves be defined by the social group, and as a result, they must act according to that identity. Beta males often don't feel like they have permission to do the things they really want to do. Can you relate to this?
In simpler words:
- Most beta males are obsessed and oppressed by the need "fit in" the social group.
- Alpha male is a man that is FREE. He doesn't need to fit in the social group, and as a result, has the power to lead the social group
An alpha male is a man who is psychologically free to speak his mind, and do what he wants, without feeling inhibited, or caring what other people think. This freedom, is what allows an alpha male to be dominant, and confident, and assertive etc.
Putting it differently, a dominant/confident guy who is not free is a poser. A bossy or overly controlling person is someone who is assertive but not free. The pompous asshole boss who puts down his employees can be an example of a leader who is not free.
None of these people garner the respect that a true alpha male does. They are all still dependent on other people for approval.
Premise #2: An alpha males sees himself as a king, a beta male only wants to be seen as a king
Alpha males have a strong concept of who they are, and what they deserve. They think of themselves highly, and they pay much more attention to what they think of themselves, than what people think of them.
Let me say it another way:
- Alpha males have an unshakeable concept of who they are. Alpha males are convinced they are the shit, and there's nothing thatanyone can do to convince them otherwise.
Most alpha males have self respect, and they believe they deserve respect from others. Even more than that, alpha males DEMAND respect from others. This comes from their clear concept of who they think they are and what they think they deserve.
Beta males are very unsure of themselves. They aren't sure who they are, that's why for example, if a hot girl says to a beta guy, "you're ugly!" the beta guy get completely shaken up because he will start to think that maybe he is ugly...
The first key becoming an alpha male is to get a crystal clear understanding of who you are and what you deserve.
In other words, stop walking around trying to make everyone think you're a king. Instead, do whatever it takes to convince yourself that you're a king.
Premise #3: Alpha males are "blind" to external standards
Part of the reason that alpha males can go on believing that they are a king, is that they are deaf, dumb and blind to external feedback that says they are not.
The first step to becoming free, is to detach from the standards of society that are holding you down.
From every direction, society is telling you that YOU are a nobody, a beta male.
- Hot girls on TV and in real life look down at you and tell you you're not good enough.
- Rich beta males flash their expensive cars.
- People keep looking to you and saying, why do you think you're good enough!
If you buy into these kinds of superficial standards of society, you will not be able to have the freedom that allows you to be an alpha male.
As an alpha male, you have to quit measuring yourself to external standards, and measure yourself ONLY by your own standards. When you make the rules for how and when you get to feel good about yourself, you have the freedom to become an alpha male.
Here are some of the ways people measure themselves by external standards. As a future alpha male, you have to stop doing these things.
- Comparing yourself to other people. When you compare yourself to other people, you depend on them to feel good or bad... This traps you don't do it.
- Seeking other people's approval. When you do this, you will only ever get a finite amount of approval. Alpha males just cut to the chase and approve of themselves
- Making identity meaning out of external events. This means that when someone says something about you, you let them define who you think you are. Like if they say you're a loser, you start thinking you are more of a loser. Don't let other people define who you are, define yourself.
- Putting value on external things like money, cars, luxury. Only judge people based on their character, when you do so, you won't turn into a beta male every time someone has more stuff than you.
- Becoming bogged down by failure. When most people fail at something, they equate that to them being a failure. Again, this comes from placing external value on success. "failing" at something should have no implication on your self concept.
- Blaming other people for your problems. When you blame other people for your problems, you see yourself as a victim to the world. Alpha males are not victims - EVER! If you want to become more alpha, you have to transform your perspective from someone who is at effect, to someone who is in charge of his reality.
Tying All Of This Together: How To Change From A Beta Male To An Alpha Male
Like I said earlier, you can only become an alpha male through challenging yourself and life experience. But I have a metaphor that I used to "convince" myself of alphahood. And it was a good start to cultivating alpha behaviour.
I believe all guys deep down are alpha. It's just that they don't know it or remember it.
The first step to becoming an alpha male is believing deep down that you have high self worth. I call it, believing you are a king.
I like the term king because I use it as a metaphor.
Beta males know they are not kings, and that they don't deserve to be kings, but they try to look like kings at all cost.
In the real world, this manifests in guys who do things to look impressive, or guys who rely on some superficial title for status. (btw, ALL external titles are superficial). So the guy who is a DJ, or promoter, or a Hollywood actor, or rich, or has a chiseled body, all these men who rely on these external things for status are posers.
Of course some alpha males have those same titles, but they don't RELY on these titles for glory
Why?
Because alpha males at the core BELIEVE that they are kings. No matter what.
They could be a king in pauper's clothing, but they're still a king. Maybe they have a pauper's bank account. Maybe they're overthrown by a mutiny - it doesn't matter, in their mind, they are still the rightful king, and this belief allows them to continue to have those alpha behaviors which women find so irresistibly attractive.
My metaphor for helping beta males believe they are alpha
Think of yourself as a king...
Have you not done SOMETHING to be worthy of kingship? If you have, then you ARE a king, you've EARNED it.
The only problem is, you keep forgetting that you're a king...
You're a king with amnesia.
It's ok, if a king has amnesia, he's still a king right?
So you're a king with amnesia...
but wait, there's more... you also woke up in pauper's clothing...
Can you think on the implications of this? This means that you start to think that you're a pauper based on your external cues, because you have amnesia and you have NO IDEA who you are.
But now that you remember that you're a king, you must learn to ignore your pauper's clothing and act as a king. Even if other people only see the pauper's clothing and treat you like a commoner. They don't see the real you, and that's understandable.
But it gets worse. There's one more thing I didn't mention...
You're a king with amnesia, in pauper's clothing, and you woke up strapped to a chair and you're being forced to watch a movie that's designed to brainwash you.
This movie is society. Society is constantly trying to trick you into believing that money makes an alpha male, or women, or whatever.
If you buy into the movie, you will lose your alphadom... you must realise that this movie is fake.
The movie is designed to make you forget that you are a king, and start chasing the approval of society so that you may one day be "good enough".
When you get to the point where:
- You are convinced that you are a king
- You ignore your pauper clothing and only acknowledge your royal decree
- You forever abandon that movie that is designed to brainwash you
Then you will be FREE, just like an alpha male, and you will then have the power to cultivate that dominance, leadership, confidence, and happiness, that only true alpha males ever enjoy.
Caleb Clayton is a professional dating coach and social circle expert. He is the author of, "Social Circle Game: A Guide To Dating And Social Mastery," He consults guys one on one and helps them build a large social circle, make more friends, and date more women. Learn more about social circle game
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How To Be An Alpha Male : Alpha Male Personality
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