How You Get Him Back

How You Get Him Back 

First, you look yourself in the eyes.

You stare at your reflection in the mirror and you tell yourself, honestly, all the ways you’ve messed up, all the times you haven’t done what you should have, all the things you did to make you lose the one person who matters the most.

You look into your eyes and you acknowledge the ways you haven’t been the best woman, haven’t loved wholeheartedly, haven’t treated him like the amazing man he is.
Then you bring all this to him.

You humble yourself.

You call him if he’s gone, or you find him if he’s around and you hold him close. You hug him as if it’s the last hug you’ll ever share, because it might be.

You look him in the eyes and tell him you love him, so so deeply.
Then you tell him everything.

You tell him all the ways you’ve hurt him, how you’d do anything and everything to fix your relationship, to have him back in your life.

You bring forth every little memory—like the one time he sang along to the car radio and you couldn’t stop laughing, or how he always falls asleep with his arm heavy and protective over your waist, or the way he always sneaks little candies into your purse before you leave for work.

You tell him how much you miss all those little things, but also the big things. The way he’s supported you, treated you with respect, been there for you every single time you needed him.
You apologize.

The real kind of apology. The one that goes to the core of you, that brings forth tears. That acknowledges your imperfections, even the ones you try to hide.

You allow yourself to feel weakness, allow yourself to feel sadness.
You pour all this out to him, so he can know you truly are sorry.

And if he’ll let you, you kiss your apologies onto his lips.
Then you do.

You do everything. You text him cute things before you fall asleep, you offer to take him to dinner, you make his favorite snacks and put them in the fridge next to his beer.

You do all the little things you overlooked, all the things you didn’t pay attention to that, over time, made him pull away.
And then you have patience.

You keep yourself close, but not too close.
You give him time, and peace, and tenderness.
You allow him to hurt, and you hurt as you watch him.

You do all that you can to make him know you’re serious, that you’re around, that you’re not leaving. Not now. Not ever.

And you hope, wish, pray that he’ll see you.
That he’ll see you’ve changed, that you mean what you say.
That he’ll know you love him, despite past mistakes.

And that he’ll love you enough to try again.