To The One Who Made Me Feel Like I’d Never Be Enough, Thank You

 To The One Who Made Me Feel Like I’d Never Be Enough, Thank You 

You truly had me. I was under your spell for years, fighting for my place in your life. I changed and altered myself to suit what I thought might squeeze into the gap you were missing, hoping that one day I’d wake up and fit with you like your favourite pair of sneakers.

But I wasn’t enough. And for that, I thank you.

Thank you for putting me through a phase of my life where I had to fight for something that there was no promise of ever achieving. It was here I learned about perseverance and never giving up on things of value to me. I learned that there may not always be a pot of gold waiting for me at the end of the rainbow, and I may be rejected more times than I win. But it was also where I learned the art of recovery. I learned how to spring back from hurtful goodbyes and demolished sights for how I saw my future.

It was here that I began paving my own path; the path that I needed, instead of chasing after an express lane to instant gratification.

Thank you for teaching me that changing myself and altering who I was will never be the answer.
Because you made me feel like I’d never be enough, I was able to be enough for myself.

I was able to find what I wanted out of my life in the midst of a crumbling forever and always.

I discovered that no matter how far you go to be somebody’s something, it’ll never compare to how amazing it feels to be your own anything.

I can now be myself and stop questioning what others think of it. Simply not being enough for you, showed me how to be proud to be me. I survived without you, and that was something I didn’t see possible a few years back.

Thank you for the heartbreak. Because without it, I may never know what being appreciated truly feels like. I may never have had to opportunity to be loved so wholly and genuinely. Without that heartbreak, I may never have grinned as large as I do now when told I’m beautiful.

The pain of a broken heart showed me the flip side of the scenario, and without it, I may never have accepted others quite as unconditionally.

While the mornings I struggled to get out of bed were anything but enjoyable, they showed me that I was strong enough to pull myself up, and to then approach the world with an open mind, ready to ensure nobody feels the way that I once did.

Thank you for doubting me, because you have given me every opportunity to prove you wrong.

I am confident that you will miss me, and I’m not sorry for that. I hope you learn these lessons yourself one day, because it was the way you knocked me down that allowed me to stand stronger than I ever have before.