Nice Guys Vs Bad Boys

What Appeals To Women About Bad Boys

What is it about the attraction of Bad Boys?

A lot of women have said they are attracted to bad boys. If you wonder why than read on.

The typical badboy is

* Cocky

* Arrogant

* Puts himself first

* He is inattentive to a woman's needs

* Does what he wants when he wants to do it, regardless of what anyone else thinks

* Acts like a loose cannon

* Struts his masculine sexuality

* Isn't even remotely a "nice" guy

* Uses women for sex

* Feels he is on top of the mating chain. An Alpha male so to speak if you've watched the Discovery channel

Ask any girl what she likes about the typical bad boys. A lot of women will answer that they never knows what to expect when a "bad boy" is around They find them as a challenge, and see bad boys as confident, Bad boys knows what they want and go after it. They are never boring. They are strong, aggressive, independent, and self-assured. Women feel safe around them. Some women like the idea that maybe "she " can fix him.

When I asked around to a few women what they like about Bad Boys they answered some things like:

Love and sex is stronger when it has intense emotions. The nice guy is like taking Amtrak whereas the bad boy is like a roller coaster. Nice guys can be manipulative. Sure they are always nice to you, but it is just to get others to be nice back to them, and that isn't real or natural for lovers. There's no challenge in nice guys. Women like a challenge and want to be able to reform a bad boy. It's more flattering for a bad boy to like you. It is more special for a guy to treat most of the people he meets like jerks, but treats you nicely

Another said this about Bad boys:

The last guy I was with was kind, gentle, and respectful of my needs and gave me everything I wanted, and never disagreed with me. I HATED IT!

The guy I am with now are all these things...but will put me in my place when I need to be. I find that very often, I need to be put in my place. He is not afraid to tell me I am wrong. That I am being a brat or just being plain ridiculous. and even if I whine and try to get my way, he won't give in to me if he really thinks he is right.

I need a knock-down, drag-out fight every once in a while. well, maybe not literally, no one wants to be hit or anything like that, but there is times that I need to argue.

You can't argue with someone who always says "you're right, princess. anything you say, angel."

It's nice to be indulged, sure; but how can you respect someone who kisses your ass? Yuck!!!, give me a guy who will stand up to me, and I will be his forever.

Another person's comment was

I am attracted to the bad boys for the more masculine reason (I like to think my man can protect me if need be) but also because the super nice guys I have met get caught up in the status quo and end up getting really lazy in the relationship and their own lives. I would love to find a super nice guy who can embrace the excitement of everyday life and the relationship but I haven't found it yet.

Somebody who can be labeled as a bad boy is masculine. He has a ton of confidence. Women find this trait of extreme confidence very attractive. It draws them towards confidence me. It has nothing to do with looks. It has to do with his attitude and his beliefs. It draws women on an emotional level and when emotions and logic come together more often than not if the emotion is powerful enough the emotions win.

Don't do these things below to be a bad boy:

Be clingy.

Be afraid to let her know you find her attractive.

Neglect having a life outside of the relationship.

Be too easy to get -- keep her intrigued.

Sacrifice your hobbies, life, friends, job, etc. for the relationship.

Be nice with the expectation that you'll get something in return for it-that's manipulative.

Come on too strong or try overly hard to impress.

Be possessive.

Be submissive -- women want a guy who's tougher and stronger than they are (but that doesn't mean they want someone to dominate them).

Become set in your ways.

Be a pushover.

The things to do to be a badboy:

Have fun.

Show self-confidence.

Be energetic.

Relax and take up space

Make Eye Contact with everybody

Project Your Emotions

Be passionate.

Lead others

Have a Playboy type attitude, playful and fun

Have a sense of adventure.

Be ambitious and lead

Have a life and hobbies outside of your relationship.

Be a manly protector-type (not macho or misogynistic).

Respect yourself.

Be exciting and unpredictable.

Be a challenge.

Give your own opinions.

Show strength.

Realize your feelings come from within -not outside

Generate feelings inside you first so that others will follow

One of the things that we teach at Attract and Date is to take the traits of a Bad boy, an alpha male and take the good parts without the bad. Most high self esteem women do not want anybody who will abuse them. They want somebody who cares for them also. The combination of a bad boy, jerk with a sensitive caring guy is the atom bomb of seduction. It is the best of both worlds. The guy who believes in himself and goes after what he wants but still allows himself to care for others rates high on a scale for a lot of women.

What Exactly Does Being a "Nice Guy" Mean?

Are you constantly being described as a "nice guy" and you don't really know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult? It depends really on what the words, "nice guy" could mean. Some women consider a man who is a perfect gentleman, someone whom they can introduce to their parents and is perfect boyfriend material as the nicest guy around. On other hand, there are also women who look at nice guys as totally boring, awkward, and just one person whom you would just want to treat as a brother or a friend, and not someone you could passionately be involved with.

So why do bad guys seem to be having a better time than nice guys, you may ask? And why are so many women attracted to the bad boy image? Well for one thing, these bad boys often know how to have a good time. They usually know where the latest action is, they are also good charmers and are oozing with confidence. Nice guys pale in comparison with the bad boys and often lose the battle for the most attractive females to them.

In the same manner that some women are attracted to the bad boys, there are also men who are often excited to meet bad girls. These girls are always ready for some action, they are often naughty and uninhibited. But let's face it, most of these girls are not really girlfriend or wife materials, and are usually not there for the long haul. If you are even considering looking for the "bad girl" for a serious relationship, you may be quite disappointed.

You would be better off if you try and get close to women who are fun loving and exciting, yet are intelligent and can be good, long time partners. They may be your "nice girl" counterparts, but they can occasionally show some exciting streak in them that you and other men may find very attractive.

The kind of women that you are looking for are also searching for someone who would sweep them off their feet. They may have visions in their minds of a man who would treat them nice, and who is fun to be with. Most will be looking for men who have a strong character, who are intelligent, charming, kind and loyal. But they are also looking for someone who has that confidence that some of the bad boys easily flaunt.

So there, you can keep your nice guy image, but spice it up with a little bit of the bad boy qualities that can charm any woman. Project an image that is confident and spontaneous. Be a little bit adventurous and a little crazy, in a good sort of way. Work towards creating the perfect blend without really compromising your values. You'd be surprised how many women would find you so attractive once you come out as a nice, "bad" boy.

Why Nice Guys Really Do Finish Last

Let's start with a little definition - "nice guys" are gentlemen who are level-headed, hardworking, and basically good members of society who'd do anything to make their woman happy. "Bad boys," on the other hand, are cocky and arrogant, and do many things that would normally annoy women out of their skins.

Here's something surprising - as much as women would like to have a nice guy as their companion in life, there are many things in bad boys that they find so much more attractive. And what may be even more surprising is that many of these women would deny having such an attraction to bad boys!

But take a few minutes and think about it. How many times have you found yourself intensely attracted to a particular bad boy (or someone who was otherwise emotionally unavailable)? Or was there a time in your life that you actually dated a bad boy, even if you didn't know he was one at the time?

Do you have a nice guy in your life that you know would make a great lifelong companion, but somehow feel no attraction to or connection with? (I bet you do.)

Mainstream media often claims that women these days like bad boys better (owing to the idea that women sometimes have guilty lust like men, or are equally prone to getting into short-term relationships as men). And on the other hand, conventional wisdom insists that being nice is the only way to please a woman properly.

Sorry, but both ideas are not quite right.

The emotional connection that underlies every good, long-lasting relationship is brought about by a powerful gut-level attraction between the man and the woman, and this connection can be felt with bad boys and nice guys in equal frequency and intensity.

Here's the problem with nice guys - kissing up, doting, or otherwise being too nice to a woman can kill this connection. Women may like the attention and feel good around these men, but this doesn't equate to attraction. And chances are, it won't eventually be.

Think about it. We're programmed to enjoy the things that are difficult to get much better than the things we can get very easily. This is why we love getting things that are normally out of reach, such as good food, designer clothes, and great relationships.

And let's face it - we don't value the things that we can get very easily very much. That includes the fawning attention we get from nice guys. I'm sure you've had the thought that "He's nice and all, but I don't think I'll be getting into a relationship with him anytime soon" when you were with a particularly nice guy in your life.

Of course, this also doesn't mean that men have to be jerks to be good with women - far from it. It's simply that bad boys have more of the qualities that can sustain stronger connections with women than nice guys. The longevity of relationships depend on this gut-level attraction, this invisible connection - the chemistry, if you will - much more than being "nice" or "bad."

Why Women Prefer Bad Boys

Not real: Nice guys are too nice. No one can always be that nice unless they're a saint. They are busy being nice instead of being real and women instinctively don't trust that. Bad boys "keep it real". Nice guys don't want to upset the apple cart.

Respect: No one respects a doormat. Nice guys don't set boundaries or make any real demands. A bad boy doesn't let a woman walk all over him or control him. Women can't respect a man they can control. No respect = No attraction.

Predictable: Most people lead boring, predictable lives, so they're attracted to people who are exciting and unpredictable. Bad boys are always a challenge. Nice guys are never a challenge. Predictable = No excitement = No challenge = I prefer a bad boy.

Mother Nature: Women are designed to nurture. However, instead of doing this with children, they often end up doing it with bad boys. They think their love will save them. Nice guys rarely need to be saved.

Fixer-Upper: Nice guys don't usually need to be fixed. Bad boys usually do, so they become a project. Women think if they can "create" the perfect man, he will never leave them. Also, if they're busy fixing someone else, they don't have to look at what needs to be fixed in their own lives.

Sperm wars: Women are designed to procreate with the strongest possible genes. Bad boys are sending an unconscious message that they have great genes, so they're not afraid of losing the woman by misbehaving. Nice guys are sending a message that they don't think their genes are good enough, so they won't misbehave.

Fear of intimacy: If a woman is afraid of intimacy, she subconsciously knows she can avoid it with a bad boy, since she can never get close enough to him to have to go there. A nice guy will eventually want a commitment, and that's scary.

Low self-esteem: We don't feel comfortable with people who treat us better than we treat ourselves. If you don't think much of yourself, the bad boy is simply reinforcing your negative belief. A nice guy is treating you in a way you're unfamiliar with.

Sex: Women feel a nice guy won't be good in bed. They like to be manhandled sometimes and think a nice guy won't be able to take control and get the job done. A bad boy comes across as being able to get the job done, even though that may not always be the case.

Hot: Have you ever seen a bad boy who wasn't hot? I'm sure there are a few, but they wouldn't be able to get away with half the stuff they did if they didn't look so good. Meanwhile, when a woman describes someone as a nice guy, she means, "He's not hot".

Charm: Nice guys don't always know what to say, and are sometimes at a loss for words. Bad boys can be very charming and know exactly what women want to hear. However, they eventually switch over to being selfish. By the time they reveal their true colors, the woman has fallen for them and has a hard time letting go.

Protection: Historically, men have protected women - physically and otherwise. Bad boys give the illusion of being able to protect women, while with nice guys, women aren't so sure.

Life is about balance. Most men fall into either the bad boy or the nice guy category. The ideal man is neither, but walks that fine line between the two. Until men learn how to do this, more often than not, women will choose the bad boy.

Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist, lecturer, author of "Lucia's Lessons of Love" and host of "The Art of Love" radio show. She's appeared on The Tyra Banks Show, E! Entertainment, The KTLA Morning Show and numerous radio shows across the U.S.A., including Playboy Radio.

With over 20 years experience on the relationship market, Lucia has dated men of all nationalities in six cities, four countries and two continents. Her practical know-how makes her the perfect candidate to dispense relationship advice - after all, in almost every dating dilemma she has been there, done that and lived to tell about it.

The Casino Effect: Why Women Love Bad Boys Versus Nice Guys

Lots of women have a stronger attraction to bad boys versus nice guys. They will tell you it's because bad boys are more exciting and nice guys are just too boring. Now this might be a factor, however I believe there is something deeper going on. I believe what causes this to happen is what I call the "Casino Effect".

In order to explain the casino Effect I am going to describe two different situations that most of us have experienced in our lives. I will then show how those two situations relate to the bad boy/nice guy condition. This will give you a solid understanding of what the Casino Effect is and why it relates to both bad boys and nice guys.

The first situation is dinning at a restaurant, specifically a restaurant you have been to and enjoy. People enjoy going back to restaurants they know to be good. When someone has a good previous experience somewhere they expect future experiences to be the same. Most of the time (say 9 out of 10) this expectation is met. The service is fast and friendly; the food is hot and tasty; and the atmosphere is wonderful. Then on that 10th time something goes wrong. The food is bad, the service is a disaster, or there is a screaming child in the next booth. Something happens to make the experience unpleasant.

The problem with this is that because this one unpleasant experience was unexpected it is what we focus on. Our minds are designed to focus on things that don't meet our expectations. This is an important condition that was needed to help our species survive. It allowed us to handle new situations as they developed.

The next time the idea of going to this particular restaurant is presented the person will automatically remember the one bad time they had and forget about all the good times. They may go back, however their focus will be on every little thing that goes wrong and this will diminish their experience. The next time this place is mentioned the person will most likely express their dissatisfaction with it. They may say the place used to be good but now is bad or how they had a terrible time the last time they were there. This shift in focus will eventually destroy their ability to enjoy the place at all. The end result is they will stop going.

The second situation is gambling at a casino. I personally come from a long line of gamblers in my family so I have experience with this. Everyone knows when they go to a casino the odds are against them. They may say they expect to win but the truth is they know the chances. Most of the time (again let's use 9 out of 10) people loss money at a casino. Then on that 10th time they win big.

The few times people go to a casino and win are the times they focus on because again it falls outside their expectation. The key concept of the Casino Effect is that anything that falls outside our expectations will become our focus and get magnified. People always exaggerate the times they won. You never hear people talk about the times they lost only the times they won.

So again the principle idea of the Casino Effect is anything that falls outside our expectations, no matter good or bad, will become our focus and get magnified. In the case of the restaurant it was the few bad experiences and in the case of the casino it was the few big wins. Now let's look at the bad boy versus nice guy situation.

I will start with the nice guy. When a woman is dating a nice guy, for the most part, he does everything right. He will open doors, buy flowers, listen, and many other things. Women expect this from nice guys, it's what they do.

The issue here is at some point the nice guy will screw up (they all do at some point).

When the nice guy makes a mistake, that mistake falls outside the expectations of the woman. It is the same process as the restaurant example. The woman will focus on the mistake and magnify it to the point where it is all she will think about. She will begin to question not only the nice guy's actions but the relationship too. This creates a downward spiral that usually ends the relationship.

Let's now look at bad boys. When a woman is dating a bad boy they tend to know what they are getting into.They know chances are they will be treated poorly. They expect not to receive all the wonderful things a nice guy would do.

The key is every bad boy from time to time does do something nice. A bad boy will suddenly get flowers, or take her somewhere nice. This follows the same process as the casino example. Most of the time when a woman dates a bad boy she will loss, yet every once in a while she will win big. Again because these nice things fall outside her expectations she will focus on and magnify them.

So the reason women prefer bad boys versus nice guys has nothing to do with what the guys are doing. It has to do with the expectations of the women dating them. Their expectations set them up to favor bad boys versus nice guys.

Nice Guys vs. Bad Boys

There are a few perceptions that lead me to believe that some women tend to gravitate to the "Bad Boy" image. First of all, the "Bad Boy" image shouldn't be confused with the "Jerk Boy" image. If women admit being attracted to the "Bad Boy" image, they are probably referring to the confident, unafraid and risk taking men who have a good look about them and who will challenge the women they meet instead of kissing their butt. Women who say they don't like the "Nice Guys" are probably talking about the men, who follow them around, hang on their every word and treat women like princesses. Women don't necessarily want this and many of them would say they couldn't respect a guy like this. So, if those are the definitions, then the reason can speak for itself. "Nice Guys" who are confident and demand respect should have no problem with women.

Why do women say they like "nice guys", then go out with all the "bad boys" who treat them like crap?

One Responder: Many reasons. First of all, this isn't true of all women. Lots of us do have our bad boy phases (guilty), but most of us manage to outgrow that (thank god). I think one of the problems is that girls are taught that the bad boys are more interesting, and we are supposed to save them from their traumatic lives with the power of our love. No, really. Ever see the movie "The Breakfast Club"? How about anything starring James Dean? The bad boys are romanticized, and they always have girlfriends who save them or at least give them something to think about during their benders.

Another problem is immaturity. That bad boy phase generally happens with teenagers and younger women. After a few jerks, we usually learn. Usually. And then there's low self-esteem. If you think you deserve to be treated like crap, you will seek out guys who treat you like that. It's probably unconscious and it correlates with the young woman/teenager thing. As women grow older and more confident, we kick these guys to the curb. And finally, there really aren't as many nice guys as you guys think. A friend of mine who's more bitter than I claimed that there were three kinds of guys: jerks, jerks who couldn't get away with it so pretended to be nice, and genuinely nice guys.

She claimed that there were very few genuinely nice guys out there. I don't really agree with that, but her basic hypothesis has some merit (for girls, too: plenty of jerky women just can't get away with it so they pretend to be nice). Chances are, if you aren't really as nice as you pretend to be, the women actually looking for nice guys will see through you (having some experience with your type), and the other women will ignore you in favor of the real jerks. The genuinely nice guys that I've met have had no problem finding women.

Why Nice Guys Are Rejected by Hot Women

Why do women seem to choose "bad boys" over "nice guys"?

It took me years to figure this out. I spent a lot of time being shy, lonely, angry and confused. I was definitely a "nice guy" but I was also single and jaded.

Pay attention because this might surprise you: The problem with "nice guys" is that they often try to manipulate women.

WHAT?! (You may ask)

Yes. (I answer)

Typical "Nice Guy" Behaviour:

    He buys a girl flowers
    Gives her love poems
    Spoils her with compliments
    Gives her special attention over others
    Goes out of his way to give her what ever she wants

Here's the problem... Much of this behaviour is called "approval seeking." These gifts have strings attached. This "nice guy" is flowering her with attention and gifts because he's expecting something in return - her approval, appreciation, attention and ultimately her affections.

These guys are trying to BUY a woman's approval by "being nice" which is really just a form of manipulation.

Trust me. Ask any girl who's received flowers from a guy she doesn't really know... she almost feel obligated to thank him in some way, and this makes her feel VERY uncomfortable. BUT when she get's flowers from her boyfriend she feels deeply appreciated and affectionate.

Why?

Because the intention is different.

The strange guy is trying to GAIN something from her (attention or approval perhaps.) Her boyfriend ISN'T trying to get something, he's already got her, so Instead he's trying to GIVE her something.

Can you feel the difference?

What do "Bad Boys" do that's different than "nice guys"?

They don't bother to fall all over a girl just because she's beautiful, they don't send her fake compliments, pricey gifts, or any other fake behaviour in an effort to buy her attention or approval.

Instead he TEASES her. He's more playful. He's amusing but then confusing. He behaves in a way that pushes her Attraction Buttons... the "nice guy" doesn't. The "nice guy" pushes her "creepy guy" buttons.

Why would a woman prefer being teased or confused over getting flowers?

Because the "bad boy" is actually being more honest and congruent than over-the-top compliments and gift-buying.

Have you ever heard this piece of advice?: "Hey, just be yourself."

What does that even MEAN?

It means you need to learn how to be more honest, sincere, and sometimes blunt. Instead of hiding behind your insecurities you should expose them. Instead of pretending like you're calm and confident you could say, "You know what? I don't know if I feel nervous or excited right now."

Instead of pretending start BEING.

Ultimately women don't respond to what you're doing, or what you're saying... they respond to who you're BEING.

Be fun. Be sincere. Be curious, mysterious, and funny.

Besides behaving differently from "nice guys" the "bad boys" has boundaries and rules. The typical "nice guy" has fewer boundaries - likely because he thinks they will keep her away from him. Another misstep thanks to his insecurities.

A typical boundary might be something as simple as the type of music you like, or your appreciation or discomfort with swear words or fowl language.

Women are only attracted to men they RESPECT and women DEFINITELY respect a guy with strong boundaries.

For example: You're on a date with a girl and she says, "I've always wanted to check out that wicked new restaurant downtown! Take me there tonight!"

What should you say?

The "nice guy" with no spine would say "Absolutely!"

The "nice guy" with boundaries would say, "I'll tell you what... if you're paying and driving us there then we can go. Otherwise it's my choice tonight." In reality a guy with healthy boundaries isn't going to let his date dictate where he eats dinner, or what expensive restaurants to take her to.

Having boundaries means saying "no" to random requests.

The "bad boy" doesn't jump through her hoops. And he definitely doesn't simply comply to every request she has.

It's not about controlling her, or the situation; it's about controlling yourself and creating your own adventures.

You'd be surprised how powerful "no" will make you feel.

Everyone respects someone who will say "no."

Here's how to be a "nice guy" that women respect, admire, and find deeply attractive:

Learn what YOU want in life, what YOU want in a girl, and stop expecting women to fall at your feet simply because you're being nice to them. Instead of expecting something from them, start thinking about what YOU have to offer.

What Masculine Energy do you spend time building? (Read about the power of your Masculine Energy in any book by David Deida.)

Are you wasting time trying to learn Pick Up techniques that will manipulate women into liking you? Stop it. Learn how to change your mindsets from "what can I get from her" (manipulations) to "what can I give her" (powerful masculine value.)

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I hope this helps you to see that being "Nice" is often just you trying to "get something" from her. If your intent is to get better with women then you need to take some time really investigating your motivations for dating beautiful women.

Are you seeking a deeper connection with a lover? If so then why does her being beautiful matter? Or could you simply be seeking that approval from others (when people see you together) that you never got in high school?

Either way be honest with yourself!

Best of luck,

Nice Guys Vs Bad Boys - Which One's Do Women Actually Prefer? Discover Shocking Facts


There has been an age old debate regarding what sort of men do women actually prefer. Well there is not specific answer to this debate yet as the preference varies from women to women as not all women have the same taste and likings. But facts are facts and women do prefer a certain type of men which they hate to reveal. Read on to discover what sort of men women actually prefer.

Nice guys do finish last- Yes and here is the conclusion. Nice guys do finish last no matter how much women try to deny this fact and say they do prefer nice men. Nice men always end up being used abused and rejected eventually by most women. You see the reason here is not them being nice but what women truly prefer. Women have inbuilt instincts which normally make them attracted towards power and dominance. Women prefer men who are dominant and know what they want out of their life with a strong vision and drive to get somewhere.

Women do prefer bad boys- Well there are several aspects about bad boys which women do not prefer such as the usage of bad language, misbehavior and several other common aspects which women hate about them but the fact remains besides all these bad aspects women still have a strong liking towards bad guys. Why? Well as mentioned above that women are attracted towards power and bad boys fit perfectly into it. But there is another way of looking at this. Women normally tend to prefer males who are not easily available and do what they want to do. Nice guys tend to be readily available to women almost all throughout the day. Whereas bad boys do their own thing and don't work on anyone else's terms specially women. Therefore to be honest when you treat them mean they do get keen.

Women Love Bad Boys

Your mother taught you to treat women with respect, and you always have. You hold open doors, compliment women, and go out of your way on dates. However if you're like most nice guys, you've found that taking the chivalric route rarely works.

Instead, women tend to prefer men who act the exact opposite. Why women love bad boys is a mystery that we've solved. In a nutshell, it all boils down to one issue...sex.

I'm not talking about bedroom performance, nor am I referring to a man's physical appearance. Instead, I'm talking about the way certain men make women feel.

First, don't think that women enjoy being treated poorly by bad boys, because they don't. You should also know that in spite of how women act, they love sex. This is where the nice guys and bad boys differ.

Nice guys are polite in terms of everything, including sex. They don't take chances by flirting, using seductive body language, or making sexual innuendos. In contrast, bad boys know what they want, and they don't mince their words. As a result, they tap into women's sensual senses.

The good news is that you don't have to treat women poorly in order to excite them. Just add a little sex to your interactions with them! You're a healthy man with a sexual appetite, so don't suppress it.

Don't misinterpret me, however. I don't mean you should force yourself on a woman. Instead, use your eyes to entice her. Touch her delicately on the arm, and make a flirty comment or two. By suppressing your sexual instincts, she'll wonder if you have anything to offer her at all.

Final Thoughts

Women love bad boys because they promise excitement, especially in the bedroom. You don't have to be a jerk to make this work for you as well.

Now listen carefully -

You are about to discover a highly unconventional and 100% ethical techniques to attract women. Known only previously as the 'underground' dating method from the East, the Zen Attraction method that most guys will never figure out.

Dating Tips For Guys - The Difference Between "Nice" and "Mr Nice Guy"

Since we've all read countless articles and heard endless audio on how "nice guys" don't get women, you'd think we've probably gotten the message by now.

Sure, we've had it drummed into our heads that wussies who "kiss up" to women fail. Along with that, it typically follows that we're reminded how "bad boys" or "jerks" are the ones who get all the women.

In fact, you've probably heard SO MUCH of this sort of thing that right now you're hoping this newsletter isn't going to simply reiterate something you've heard a thousand times over.

Rest assured. I wouldn't do that to you.

Instead, I have a crazy question.

Even though you've heard the "nice guy vs. bad boy" routine a bazillion time, have you REALLY gotten the RIGHT message from it?

Based on what I've been seeing lately in the Seduction Community blogosphere, on forums and in my inbox, I'm beginning to wonder.

Unless my brain is playing tricks on me, it looks like any time a guy mentions having any kind of benevolent thought towards a woman at all, someone is there to crack him upside the head and bring him back to "sensibility".

Planning a romantic evening? Playing her favorite music in the car? Giving her a reasonable compliment when she wants your honest opinion?

The horror!

According to "common wisdom" these days, ANY such behavior under any circumstances is a sure-fire symptom of impending "Nice Guy" disorder.

Meanwhile, other "industry standards" such as "negging" and "cocky/funny" are more than ever being widely misconstrued to mean "be flat-out rude as hell to women".

All over the fruited plain, gentlemen, the apparent surround to all of this would appear to be, "If you want to get women, be kind of mean to them and forget about doing anything benevolent whatsoever."

Read that last quote over again and think about it for a while.

Do you really, truly believe that's what it takes to bring high quality women into your life?

Yet, that very thought process is pandemic in the world of men's dating advice.

Think I'm overreacting? If so, go surf a few Seduction Community forums and find out for yourself what kind of Kool-Aid people have been drinking.

Well, guess what guys?

I think you can still be a perfectly decent (dare I spell out "nice"?) person...and get MORE high-quality women than any "bad boy" or "jerk".

How's that?

All it takes is DECONSTRUCTING exactly WHY "Mr. Nice Guy" loses with women.

First, this guy typically has a sexual "agenda" with women that a sense of personal shame keeps under wraps.

Thinking he'd scare women away were he an "oppressive sexual threat", he dares not portray himself as a masculine presence.

Strike one. "Neuter" doesn't attract.

Next, "Mr. Nice Guy" is usually out to IMPRESS women by buying them stuff, doing endless favors, etc.

Strike two. He wouldn't do that for anyone other than a "hottie", so no woman can trust him. Inspiring confidence and thereby instilling security in a woman is therefore an impossibility.

(And I mean really...it comes off kind of like that guy in the store who keeps calling you "sir" even though you're sure his demeanor is completely different when he's off the clock, right?)

Finally, being "extra nice" is usually a direct symptom of being needy and desperate...a dead giveaway that you DO NOT HAVE OPTIONS.

Strike three. He's clearly "not in her league".

As for the "I/J" (or "Idiot/Jerk"), he *can* indeed get somewhere with women...usually the ones with LOW SELF ESTEEM.

Why?

Well, maybe the woman feels she doesn't deserve a great man, so it's her lot to "suffer".

Or, if the feedback I've gotten from certain women holds true, at least she feels she can TRUST that what she sees is what she gets when a guy is openly an I/J.

Are you noticing what's going on under the surface here?

Ultimately, why the "nice guy" loses has NOTHING to do with being "nice".

And, notwithstanding dysfunctional attachment to self-punishment, I don't think it's particularly necessary that a man be downright evil in order for a woman to know where she stands with him, either.

Even if she's after the "bad boy type" (e.g. Harley, tattoos, etc.) there's plenty of those guys out there who are perfectly decent people. All the while, they still having that sense of adventure and healthy appreciation for an adrenaline rush that women tend to crave.

You may even meet some of them and say, "Man, that's a nice guy."

Basically, what you've just heard me imply that a high-quality woman will settle for NEITHER "Mr. Nice Guy" NOR an "I/J".

What gives?

Well, as I've said before, the seldom-recognized champion over this entire phenomenon is a GREAT MAN.

And one of the few things that make sense in the dating world--disarmingly so in this case--is that GREAT MEN really do stand an excellent chance of getting GREAT WOMEN.

Over seventy years ago, Dale Carnegie published his seminal work How To Win Friends And Influence People, which to this day is a wildly popular best seller.

In fact, much of what you read today in terms of "how to" info on social dynamics can be traced back to roots in that book.

Here's a great quote from it, so good that the author repeats it twice in context:

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in

other people than you can in two years by trying to get other

people interested in you."

In other words, if you are only about meeting your own selfish needs, you'll get nowhere with people.

And both the "Nice Guy" and the "I/J" are more interested in what they can get from a woman than they are interested in her.

What's "Mr. Nice Guy's" greatest fear?

You guessed it: Being exiled to the "Just Be Friends Zone".

So as a result, not only do you have guys out there who are trying NOT to be "nice" to women, they're trying to AVOID being friends with her!

All this based on the prevailing "dating advice" guys are being given.

Somewhere, Dale Carnegie is rolling over in his grave.

Here it is: The real PROBLEM with the "JBF Zone" is the "J".

Dale Carnegie's book has sold millions of copies because it does an amazing job of living up to its title.

And guess what? It's one of the best DATING ADVICE books I've ever read.

Why? Because it teaches you how to attract PEOPLE.

And GREAT WOMEN, last I checked, classified as such.

When you genuinely care about others and let go of self-absorption, you not only start meeting the women you want...you get the added benefit of succeeding at work and in your social circles too.

So yeah, you can be a nice guy and get great women. But only if you mean it, and only if you know how to make friends. No "hidden agendas" and no lazy selfishness allowed.

I realize that what I'm sharing with you here is completely different from what you're used to hearing. No question.

And make no mistake, this is about throwing out the dark ulterior motives that characterize "Mr. Nice Guy" and really, genuinely going about the matter of becoming the kind of high-character man who draws people unto himself magnetically.

No doubt you've heard talk out there about how to be "charismatic" and "alpha" in order to get women, haven't you?

What a paradox to mix those concepts in with talk about being a "jerk" instead of a "nice guy"!

No wonder so many guys who are "chasing tail" end up chasing their OWN tail, right?

Dating Tips for Middle Aged Guys - Do Women Like Nice Dudes or Bad Boys?

Nice guy or bad boy?

Which do women like? It always seems, at least in the movies, the bad dude always gets the girl. Why is that? Is there any truth to this? Do women really like bad dudes?

The answer lies, not in the bad dude's actions, but in the fact he takes the road least traveled... he's exciting, he's interesting, he doesn't answer to anyone. Think about it, the guy who follows the same boring routine everyday without something ever scary happening, verses the wild man who answers to his own code of conduct. Which guy do you think the girls want?

Bad boys are mavericks. They're exciting and unpredictable! They are a challenge to keep, which makes women work all the much harder and never get bored.

We as single middle aged guys need to emulate these traits. Now let's not be on America's top ten list, but let's strive for some middle ground. This starts on the ground level. Get in shape, get a new look, straighten out your career and get some confidence. Then, start doing one thing everyday that scares you. Start being less predictable and be more aloof. Be like an iguana, get ready to change your colors at anytime. These changes will add some bullets to your dating arsenal. Become a challenge, combine all these traits... Do It!

There is no surprise, here, why the bad boy gets the hot chick, the raw and uncut attraction is nature's way. In my everyday I practice this. I run a business but I'm not afraid to stay out all night or fly somewhere to have fun without a plan. I'm mid forties and I go to church but I'm teaching myself to break dance and I can do shots with the best of them. You get the lesson to be learned here.

If you put some or all of my dating tips together you are going to be force to be reckoned with.

Trust me, I'm living it everyday and I'm no Brad Pit look alike.

Hi I'm Gregg. I want to lend a helping hand to guys who are single, middle aged and want to get back to the dating scene. Maybe you're divorced or just need some motivation. I can give you some dating tips that will get your confidence back and attract the opposite sex. My website talks about the basics. getting in shape, hair and cool threads. Then I dig deeper into the dating world for guys over 40. I discuss dating younger women, flirting tips, approaching women, dating multiple women and lots of things in between.

Nice Guy Reform School: Nice Guy Or Bad Boy. Get Your Girl's Attention By Giving Her A Third Option

Guys are coming to me right and left asking me about the Nice Guy Zone and what to do about it. In this article I'm going to start answering those questions. I'll start with the basics of exactly what is the problem with the Nice Guy Zone and then give you an overview of the solution.

We are going to start by putting you into your girl's (or any girl's) shoes. If you were a girl you would see the world filled with basically two kinds of guys.

1. the exciting, unpredictable bad ass/bad boy type. (who use and abuse women and who you and me call "douchebags") and

2. the boring, stable, predictable provider/boyfriend/husband type. (you and me)

There is a third type and all women hope he exists, though they doubt it. And he is the wild, unpredictable, seems to be a badass/badboy, but really has a heart of gold. Is doing something meaningful with his life, but doesn't let that stop him from having wild adventures and knowing how to have serious fun.

Romance novels are filled with these guys. They are what women have been having wet dreams about since they were in middle school. Christian Grey of Fifty Shades of Grey is a perfect example.

And oops... I just gave you the solution to the badboy/nice guy dilemma right there. The solution is of course to become the third type. Which is what I am going to start teaching you to do today.

Before we go into how to become this third type, just for a minute consider what it must be like to be a woman and how much you are going to help not only yourself, but also her by giving her a third option.

It must suck to think the choice between Boring-But-Stable or Exciting-But-Bad-For-Me are your only options.

(In reality us guys are faced with a similar dilemma in choosing between the angel and the tramp. But we will conquer that one in another article. )

Imagine you had to choose between Dr. Phil as the boring, stable, goodguy provider or Charlie Sheen as the self-absorbed, crazy, badboy. Not much of a choice. No wonder women are so mixed up.

And we make it worse because as soon as she is ours, we shower her with romantic gifts and try to pamper her and do everything for her.

Her dreams of you being the secret badboy, Bruce Wayne/Batman dry up and blow away on the wind. And she makes the best of it by throwing herself into her career or raising the kids or a charity or whatever. And her inner tramp gets more and more horny and angry and that's not a good thing.

Now you know those movies where people trade bodies... like 18 Again or Freaky Friday or The Hot Chick...

Well, what if you traded bodies with one of these troubled, but driven and interesting fictional guys. Bruce Wayne/Batman for example. What would your woman think?

What chance would she have to keep up the bored, unfulfilled housewife act? How long would it take for her to become helplessly intrigued and permanently turned on?

That's what we're up to here.

Until next time. Start working on your secret identity interests and projects. For instructions on just how to do those go to my past articles.

Does she think she has you all figured out?

Treats you like you are old news?


    Access and express your feelings.
    Unhook from trying to impress her
    See her rejections as cute
    And awaken her inner pornstar.

Dating Tips for Guys, Does It Pay to Be a Bad Boy?

Does it Pay to Be a Bad Boy?

Here is a huge date tip for men. Pick up artists and players know this. Be able to display bad boy traits when the time is proper and you will supercharge your love life forever!

What is it about the guy that never showers a girl with gifts, is often late, and generally doesn't lose sleep over any relationship? He's the opposite of the nice guy. And yet women love him. When the bad boy messes up, the girl forgives, over and over again. Why?

A study by Top Dating Tips found that 38% of women prefer nice guys, 15% want to date bad boys, and 34% prefer a mix of both. In other words 1/3 of women want the good and bad traits in their men.

This is good news for the nice guys out there. You can remain kind at times but you still need to introduce some bad boy traits that will trigger her sexual desires.

Balance is The Key to Seduction

A woman doesn't want to date a wimp. Nice guys give too many compliments, praise and sometimes the kiss of death...gifts. They become needy and dependent to the girl. Women want spontaneity, power, confidence, mystery and yes a little danger. Deliver a mix of both and you will change your dating life forever! Pick up artists will always be able to deliver bad boy traits.

Women fantasize about their man ripping their clothes off and doing them on the kitchen table. They want a guy that is not going to back down from confrontation. They need that constant challenge. The nice guy can't produce these traits, he is submissive and thus filed in the "Friend Zone." The player has these characteristics

This is why the bad boy can succeed on the one night stand. He exerts his higher status. He can press the extreme button with women with his passion, wit and charm. The bad boy can shower a woman with compliments and be ice cold towards her in the next minute. This triggers curiosity and excitement.

The nice guy talks about intellectual subjects like her job and how the weather has been so pleasant He's so polite it makes her sick. These are not turn ons.

Bad Boy Specifics

Grow some attitude Say something shocking. Lose the politically correct jargon at times and develop your own confident style. Be positive and make her realize that you answer to no one. Tease her! All the while never be rude to the girl.

Be sexually aggressive Touch her and show her your dominance. All tactfully of course. Hint at being with her and tease constantly. Say something that will surprise her.

Handle any situation Get her a drink quickly, confront someone who is being obnoxious decisively. She will notice these alpha traits and will be attracted to you more. This makes her feel safe with you. She feels protected.