I May Have Lost You, But I Gained So Much More

 I May Have Lost You, But I Gained So Much More 

When you broke my heart I thought my world was over. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t get out of bed. I thought I would literally never get over you. A few short weeks later and I am one hundred percent completely and totally recovered. In fact, I feel better than ever. So… why was it so easy?

I always loved you with everything I had. I loved you more than anything I ever knew, more than I thought I was capable of. It was a feeling I never experienced before and never wanted to lose. But, part of me always knew you didn’t feel the same way. I thought you just needed time, that you would eventually feel these same unexplainable feelings I felt for you.

I knew how important I was to you, you made sure I knew that, not with words but with gestures.

But I always felt like you didn’t feel exactly the same things I felt and I thought that was my fault, because I loved too much, too deeply, and with too much of my soul.

I’d always felt more love towards anyone I ever loved than they could give back to me, including my own parents. So it was normal, and I was the weird one, I thought.

I accepted it because I knew you loved me as much as you could. And to me, that was enough. But, when you said the words, “I don’t love you as much as you love me,” I knew that wasn’t okay. Those words hurt more than anything in the world. But, why? I knew it was true all along. I just couldn’t believe you said it out loud. I tried to reason with you. I tried to convince you, and myself, that it was okay, that I just loved too much and you loved me as much as he could and that was okay.

But, you left anyway. You said I would understand eventually. You left me no home.

That was it for me. I lost the only person I ever loved. But, being alone for just a few short days I began to see that you were right when you said you weren’t being fair to me, when you said you were not able to give me what I deserved.

You were right.

And all of the sudden, I was happy, happier than I had ever been. I was free and open to endless possibilities in life. I realized that love is the most powerful and most important thing in the world. I deserve to be the most important thing in someone’s world. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I am a powerful, deep, passionate lover and there has to be someone who will love me back just the same. I need someone who can tell me anything, talk for hours, sleep under the stars with me, and tell me they love me every single day. I should have realized long ago, that’s what I deserve. That’s what we all deserve.

And here’s what you taught me:

You taught me what it’s like to be in love. You taught me what it’s like to love someone for everything they are, for their strengths and weaknesses, perfections and flaws. And you taught me that I am deserving of so much more than you would ever give me. You taught me to never settle for anything less than what I deserve. I became a happier version of myself because of you.

When you broke my heart, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.