Beta Male characteristics Part 4

Beta Male characteristic 1 : Attitude

A young man was engrossed in deep meditation in a forest. His sole purpose was to gain God's satisfaction. He had no interest in anything material. Although the jungle was full of ferocious animals he had no fear. After years of spiritual pursuit, God was finally happy with him. He gave him a boon.'Whatever you think will turn to reality' He said.

The young man was ecstatic. He thought, “How wonderful it would be if there was a palace made of gold in the middle of this jungle!” As soon as he thought that, a palace suddenly appeared in the forest. He jumped with joy. All of a sudden he realized he was hungry. He thought of various types of delicious food on a gold plate. They appeared in an instant. He ate the food , let out a sigh of contentment and leaned back comfortably on his gold bed.

Suddenly, he thought, “Although I am in a gold palace I am surrounded by a jungle. What if a tiger comes and eats me up?” As soon as he thought that, a huge tiger appeared and gobbled him up. All that were left were a few pieces of bone in the gold palace.

Although this is just a story, it's message is true. Thoughts and words not only describe reality, they have the power to create reality.

We are all blessed with unique talents and an immensely powerful tool: our brain. But whether or not we will be using these gifts for constructive purposes depends on how we think. Our brain is just like hardware, how it functions depends on the software, or the mind. Scientists have found that new information and beliefs create new dendrites in the neurons in the brain. New connections are established through new synapses. The working structure of the brain changes, and it presents us with new reality. Whether this new reality will be good or bad depends on the nature of program that is given to the brain. Negative thoughts create negative program, and give birth to negative reality.

People who think negatively tend to be unhappy and frustrated. They do not have goals and do not have the urge to work towards goals. They cannot take planned action and as a result they fail. This makes them think even more negatively. They are trapped in a vicious circle.

To move forward in life and to use your infinite potential, first you need to establish faith in yourself. Observe your thoughts and words. Do you have confidence in yourself? Are you grateful for what you have? Do you anticipate a glorious future?

If not, change your thought pattern today. Try to concentrate on the positive. If you mistakenly think or say anything negative, think or say 'cancel'. Then end your thoughts or words on a positive note. Practice the autosuggestion, ' I am free from the influence and reaction of all negative thoughts and patterns.' Practice the 'Negative Thought' meditation. You will be a transformed person.
Blaming Others for Failure

We have all probably heard this joke.

God Will Save Me

There was a small village by a river. One day in monsoon the villagers noticed that the river was swelling and the village was about to be flooded. Everyone left the village for safe ground, except for one man. He said, 'I have faith in God. He will save me.' The water level began to rise. When it rose up to his knees a car passed by and offered to pick him up. The man refused. 'Save me God', he prayed. The car left. When the water level rose up to his waist a boat came by and offered to help him. Again the man refused. The boat left. Again the man prayed to God to save him. When the water level rose up to shoulders a helicopter came to rescue him. Again the man refused, and kept on praying feverishly to God. Finally, he drowned. When he reached his creator he said, 'I had complete faith in you. Why did you ignore my prayers and let me drown?' God replied,' Who do you think sent you the car, the boat and the helicopter?'

Most of us are like the man in the story. We do not want to take responsibility for our own life. We blame external conditions for our failure and expect the external condition to change without any effort on our part. 'If only my boss wasn't so unfair I would do well in my job.' 'I am unhappy because I keep on meeting the wrong guys. One day I will meet prince charming and I will be happy.' 'If only I had his talent I would be successful.'

Successful people take responsibility for their situation and try to find out what they can do to change it. The truth is, no matter what your external limitations are, someone has overcome those limitations. You can do it too, if instead of waiting for change, you initiate change. So find out how you are contributing to the distance between you and your boss, or what it is about you that drives you to make wrong decisions about relationships. Think of your talents, and what you can do to use them. Nothing will be able to stop you.

Beta Male characteristic 2 : DayDreaming

One of the ways our reluctance to take responsibility for our own lives and our fear of the unknown manifests itself is through idle and unrealistic day dreaming. Because our nervous system cannot differentiate between reality and imagination, we get a pleasant feeling by escaping reality and living in an imaginary world. It doesn't take any effort and does not require us to take any risks. But it costs us the most precious of resources, time, and it holds us back.

To move forward, shake off day dreaming and have a real dream, a monchobi. The difference between day dream and monchobi is that we do not really expect our day dreams to come true, it is just a way to escape reality. A monchobi, on the other hand is a vision that we believe in and that we are willing to work hard to realize. As A P J Abul Kalam, noted scientist and former president of India put it so eloquently, 'Dream is not something we see when we are asleep but something that does not let us sleep.' Life would be much more fulfilling when you are striving for a real dream.
Looking for Shortcuts

Another way our reluctance to earn our success manifests itself is through looking for short cuts. Because of this tendency, we become easy victims to 'get-rich-quick' scams and false promises of cheats and swindlers. Consider this classic story by Jalaluddin Rumi.

The Hunter and the Small Bird

A hunter once caught a small bird. ‘Master,’ said the bird, ‘you have eaten many animals bigger than me without assuaging your appetite. How can the flesh of my tiny body satisfy you? If you let me go, I will give you three counsels: one while I am still in your hand, the second when I am on your roof, and the third from the top of a tree. When you have heard all three, you will consider yourself the most fortunate of men. The first counsel is this: “Do not believe the foolish pronouncements of others.” ’

The bird flew on to the roof, from where it gave the second counsel, "Have no regrets for what is past.” Concealed in my body is a precious pearl weighing five ounces. It was yours by right, and now it is gone.’ Hearing this the man began to bewail his misfortune. ‘Why are you so upset?’ asked the bird. ‘Did I not say, “Have no regrets for what is past”? Are you deaf, or did you not understand what I told you? I also said, “Do not believe the foolish pronouncements of others.” I weigh less than two ounces, so how could I possibly conceal a pearl weighing five?’

Coming to his senses, the hunter asked for the third counsel. ‘Seeing how much you heeded the first two, why should I waste the third?’ replied the bird.

Most of us are like the hunter in the story. We are so eager for short cuts that we get easily misled by the false promises of frauds and deceivers. In fact, it can be argued that the primary cause of the current economic downfall is letting go off common sense and not realizing that money cannot come out of no where.

The truth is, there is no such thing as a free lunch. Even if you become successful by chance, you will never be able to sustain it unless you earn it. The BBC once did a survey on people who had won big amounts in lotteries and found that most of them were back in their original situation after a year or so.

So do not look for short cuts. Go through the right path, not only the destination, but the journey itself will be much more enjoyable.

Beta Male characteristic 3 : Learning from Mistakes

In the Mahavarata, the Pandav brothers once faced a situation where they would have to answer a question correctly or face certain death. The question was, “What is the most important fact of human life?” Starting from the youngest, four brothers, one after another, fell dead because they didn't know the answer. When it was the turn of Judhishthir, the eldest and wisest, he replied, “The most important fact of human life is that people refuse to learn.” His answer was accepted and the lives of his brothers as well as himself were saved.

If we look closely at our lives we will find this is very true for most of us. Ordinary people resist learning from their experiences because they fear stepping out of their comfort zones and charting a new course for life. They live their lives in circles, repeating their mistakes again and again.

There was a man who lost his job six times because he could not control his temper. When he lost his temper he shouted at his subordinates and colleagues and even at his boss. He would say his boss was the greatest fool he had ever seen in his life. Every time he lost his job he would promise to himself that he wouldn't make the same mistake again. But he did. He was smart and good at his job, so he did not have problem getting a job. But because of his temper he had problem advancing in his job, let alone get promoted. His wife used to get upset at his behaviour. Every time he lost his job she would leave him and go and live with her parents. After he got a new job he would go and plead to her and she would come back. The sixth time however, she refused to come back in spite of all his pleading. She finally came back when he signed a bond saying he wouldn't behave the same way at his workplace again. Both the husband and the wife kept on repeating the same mistake over and over again. For five times, their behaviour didn't change, and their reality stayed the same. Finally, when the wife's behaviour changed, their reality also changed.

All of us have our own unique types of mistake that we keep on repeating. Some of us keep promising ourselves we will start exercising regularly but we never do. Students think they will start studying early in the next semester so that they don't have to cram in the last minute, but that never happens. Some people keep on finding they are involved or married to the wrong people, but never identify or correct what they are doing wrong to get themselves in these situations.

Those who do not fear to step into uncharted territories learn their lessons and accomplish extraordinary feats. In order to break free of this cycle of mistakes, after every failure, instead of blaming external factors, we need to analyse carefully where we went wrong and why we went wrong.The best way to do this is in the meditative level. Then we can correct those mistakes. Wise people never make the same mistake twice. They learn from their mistakes and move on. If we can do the same, then instead of going around in circles, we will move forward too.